Corrie and I are now experienced Swedish chefs. Well, we can at least cook one traditional Swedish meal thanks to Calle, our roommate/chef. Last night we prepared dinner for everyone as he monitored us so that we wouldn't burn down the apartment. We cooked chicken for the carnivores, salmon for yours truly, roasted veggies and potatoes, with a delicious sauce to eat with everything. Following our bomb dinner, we made apple crumble for dessert. But it wasn't just any ol' apple crumble, we simmered the apples in goon! We had a romantic candlelit dinner and then watched "Adventureland." I am now thinking of maybe applying for a job as a Carny at Luna Park.
On Saturday night, I met up with Corrie and her coworkers at the beach when they were done scooping gelato for the night. It was a really warm night so there were a lot of people out. We ended up meeting a group of folks from all over the world; Argentina, Australia, Italy, etc. Upon hearing that there was an Italian present, I proceeded to declare my knowledge of Italian language. Upon proceeding to declare my "knowledge" of Italian language, the Italian began speaking to me in said language. Embarrassingly, I started speaking Spitalian, a mix of Spanish and Italian, and he realized I may or may not have lied. I swear, at one point in time I did speak really good Italian, but it's been years. Ma io parlo un po'! Ti ucciso!
So my interview at the Marriott went really well. Who knew that in person I was such a great interviewer? Anyway, it went extremely well, and they two people interviewing me loved me. But, of course, with my visa, they couldn't hire me because they needed someone more long term due to the amount of time it takes to train their employees. (3 months, my ass!) So, after the interview, which they conducted EVEN THOUGH they knew what visa I had beforehand, they told me it wouldn't work out, but continued to go on and on about how perfect I was for the job and I'm exactly what they were looking for. I had to sit politely with a smile on my face and nod along when I really wanted to punch them in the throat. How dare they waste my time like that! How I don't feel so bad for always stealing from them when I stay there. So, back to square one, and searching for a job once again. Woo to me!
Another funny job post:
"Drawf / Little person needed for party!
Do you know anyone?
It is for my sisters hen's party and I want a little person to play a gitted lover.
I respect the little people so there is no way this is to put them down or be of a derogatory nature.
Sat 20th Feb in docklands and will be needed for say 20min max paying $50. Happy for person to hang around for an hour or so if they wish for food and drinks! Also if they wanted to be accompanied by friend or partner ok too.
Cheers
Kylie"
If only I was 4 inches shorter...
Quote of the Day: "You're quite the creepy person, aren't you?"- Hugh Grant
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs...
I really like the show "Frasier" now. I used to hate it. But being unemployed in Australia and having limited television to watch, I've grown to love it. I actually get excited when I see it's coming on. It's actually quite hilarious. Does this mean I'm growing up? I always thought it was a show for old people... That Frasier gets himself into some crazy shenanigans though!
Also, I came across this ad while job hunting online and thought I'd share it with everyone. How funny/awesome would this job be?
"We need someone who is good at connect 4, that game where you try to line up 4 circles in a row. You need to be really good at this game!!!
You will work 3 hours a night, and people in the bar will try and beat you! If they win, they get a free drink, and if you win then they have to buy someone a drink :)
So you need to be good otherwise we will end up giving away 1000 drinks :(
Don't bother with a resume, just let us know how good you are at connect 4.
If you arent that good, come down to The Saint on thursday night to play the person we selected!!!"
The Saint is just up the road from our apartment. I might go challenge this Connect 4 champion at some point...
Also, I came across this ad while job hunting online and thought I'd share it with everyone. How funny/awesome would this job be?
"We need someone who is good at connect 4, that game where you try to line up 4 circles in a row. You need to be really good at this game!!!
You will work 3 hours a night, and people in the bar will try and beat you! If they win, they get a free drink, and if you win then they have to buy someone a drink :)
So you need to be good otherwise we will end up giving away 1000 drinks :(
Don't bother with a resume, just let us know how good you are at connect 4.
If you arent that good, come down to The Saint on thursday night to play the person we selected!!!"
The Saint is just up the road from our apartment. I might go challenge this Connect 4 champion at some point...
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Laser Skirmish
Well well well… Hello everyone. Let me fill you in on my life over the past week. The St. Kilda festival has ended. The last day was crazy crowded in St. Kilda, with carnival rides set up on the beach, live performances in the many gardens around the city, and food stands and other random activities all around the place. It was quite overwhelming. Since it was a dry zone, we spent most of the time in our apartment drinking Carlton’s and quizzing each other on the bottle top questions that come with the beer. We decided that gaining knowledge was more important than some ol’ festival.
On Friday night, we went to our friend’s birthday party in the city. Our friend from Sydney was also in town so we met up with him and his French friend, as well. At the end of the night, my and Corrie’s maternal instinct came crawling out when we incessantly asked the French man if he was sure knew how to get home and kept offering to walk him back. He must’ve wondered what the hell was going on that two small girls were asking a full grown man if he needed to be escorted back to his hostel safely. As if we could ward off criminals…
On Tuesday, we finally made it to the Melbourne Zoo to see the new baby elephant! Oh My God. I can die happy. I have never seen anything cuter in my life. It was her one-month birthday and we watched as she frolicked around her mama the whole time. She even slid down a hill at one point and I wanted to cry. Not because she slid down a hill, but because she looked so adorable doing it. I want to move to a country where I can have a pet elephant. And then I would breed it constantly so I could always have a baby elephant around.
In addition to the baby elephant, we saw wombats spooning in a log, a platypus lookin’ all crazy in his tank, koalas and kangaroos. Now, the kangaroos freaked us out. They weren’t in a cage, but rather, they had a path set up that you could walk through and the kangaroos were just roaming around freely within this path. I was just waiting for one to pounce on me and kill me. Luckily, it was a really hot day so they were all just laying around. But I could see the evil in their eyes…they were scheming. I know it.
On our way back from the zoo, we stopped in the city centre to get some burgers and Mrs. Field’s cookies. While waiting for our tram back, we were asked for directions by two people. And we actually knew the directions they asked for! We’re slowly becoming locals in Melbourne, and I am quite excited about that.
Last night we went to the Suzuki Night Market at the Queen Victoria Market. It happens every Wednesday in the summer; they have live music set up throughout the market, an insane amount of international food stands, and a flea market where you can buy many goods. I had dinner before we left, but I couldn’t help myself when I saw the Mexican food stands, and I went to town on some tacos. Deeelicious! It was worth the gut I woke up with the next morning. After the market, we decided to check out Crown Casino. We wandered around for a bit, but the real story is what happened at the end. As we were about to leave the casino, we saw… dun dun dun… Jermaine Jackson! Now I know Jermaine isn’t that exciting, but with Michael gone you just gotta settle for any of the Jackson’s at this point, right? I awkwardly stared and continuously loud-whispered to Corrie- “Oh my God that’s Jermaine Jackson. Oh my God that’s Jermaine Jackson! Oh my God that’s Jermaine Jackson!” I didn’t want to approach him but I was hoping he’d be excited that someone recognized him and he’d approach us. I think weird things… because why would one of the Jackson’s approach me? I seemed to be the only one who recognized him though. He’s just as creepy looking in person as he is on television.
Updates:
I have an interview at the Marriott for a front office position! Hopefully it will end in a job, but given my track record, interviews are usually the factor that ruins my chances of getting a job. I am just so awkward. Maybe they will find it endearing? I've also decided to give in... 10 years late... and start reading "Harry Potter."
Quote of the Day: “I’d get so fat from eating my fingers all day.”-Corrie
On Friday night, we went to our friend’s birthday party in the city. Our friend from Sydney was also in town so we met up with him and his French friend, as well. At the end of the night, my and Corrie’s maternal instinct came crawling out when we incessantly asked the French man if he was sure knew how to get home and kept offering to walk him back. He must’ve wondered what the hell was going on that two small girls were asking a full grown man if he needed to be escorted back to his hostel safely. As if we could ward off criminals…
On Tuesday, we finally made it to the Melbourne Zoo to see the new baby elephant! Oh My God. I can die happy. I have never seen anything cuter in my life. It was her one-month birthday and we watched as she frolicked around her mama the whole time. She even slid down a hill at one point and I wanted to cry. Not because she slid down a hill, but because she looked so adorable doing it. I want to move to a country where I can have a pet elephant. And then I would breed it constantly so I could always have a baby elephant around.
In addition to the baby elephant, we saw wombats spooning in a log, a platypus lookin’ all crazy in his tank, koalas and kangaroos. Now, the kangaroos freaked us out. They weren’t in a cage, but rather, they had a path set up that you could walk through and the kangaroos were just roaming around freely within this path. I was just waiting for one to pounce on me and kill me. Luckily, it was a really hot day so they were all just laying around. But I could see the evil in their eyes…they were scheming. I know it.
On our way back from the zoo, we stopped in the city centre to get some burgers and Mrs. Field’s cookies. While waiting for our tram back, we were asked for directions by two people. And we actually knew the directions they asked for! We’re slowly becoming locals in Melbourne, and I am quite excited about that.
Last night we went to the Suzuki Night Market at the Queen Victoria Market. It happens every Wednesday in the summer; they have live music set up throughout the market, an insane amount of international food stands, and a flea market where you can buy many goods. I had dinner before we left, but I couldn’t help myself when I saw the Mexican food stands, and I went to town on some tacos. Deeelicious! It was worth the gut I woke up with the next morning. After the market, we decided to check out Crown Casino. We wandered around for a bit, but the real story is what happened at the end. As we were about to leave the casino, we saw… dun dun dun… Jermaine Jackson! Now I know Jermaine isn’t that exciting, but with Michael gone you just gotta settle for any of the Jackson’s at this point, right? I awkwardly stared and continuously loud-whispered to Corrie- “Oh my God that’s Jermaine Jackson. Oh my God that’s Jermaine Jackson! Oh my God that’s Jermaine Jackson!” I didn’t want to approach him but I was hoping he’d be excited that someone recognized him and he’d approach us. I think weird things… because why would one of the Jackson’s approach me? I seemed to be the only one who recognized him though. He’s just as creepy looking in person as he is on television.
Updates:
I have an interview at the Marriott for a front office position! Hopefully it will end in a job, but given my track record, interviews are usually the factor that ruins my chances of getting a job. I am just so awkward. Maybe they will find it endearing? I've also decided to give in... 10 years late... and start reading "Harry Potter."
Quote of the Day: “I’d get so fat from eating my fingers all day.”-Corrie
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Repulsive and Offensive.
Are the words I would use to describe how Vegemite tastes. I don't know how they eat that crap down here...
Monday, February 8, 2010
You're Welcome, Earth!
The past few days have been a whole lotta fun. The St. Kilda Festival is going on, so there are heaps of people in town for the week. On Saturday night we stayed in with the roommates again, it has almost turned into a tradition. We had our first goon experience, a fun time, indeed. We taught each other offences Swedish and Hindi phrases. Dra at Helvete! On Sunday, there was a pride march that went right on by our apartment. So my roommate and I set up shop outside and gazed upon the colorful parade. The parade marched onto the beach, where there were stages set up for performances, bars, and restaurants. The entire time we were there, I couldn’t stop saying how much I wished every Sunday was like that in St. Kilda. There was such a great atmosphere and so much to see and do. We spent the day roaming around and admiring all the queens. We even made our Australian television debut! We were interviewed for a local television channel. We’re famous! Look out for us on channel 31.
After returning home to grub, I went down to the pier to watch the sunset. St. Kilda has a perfectly pink sunset every night. And it never gets old. I sat there for about an hour just admiring all the colors sparkling across the ocean, and then met up with my roommate at a pub across the street from our apartment. Naturally, the pub was filled with gay men, and my roommate was quite the heartbreaker. The pub turned into a huge dance party so we danced the night away and finally returned home after our marathon day. One of the men we met talked about how Americans always end their sentences with “right now.” I wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying, and everyone started laughing. My response was “I don’t even know what’s going on right now.” Everyone continued to laugh even harder, to which I exclaimed, “I’m so confused right now!” I proved his point.
Corrie has been working at the gelato shop everyday, so I have been spending a lot of time hanging out in the shop and eating free gelato. I’ve also been working on my tan. Today at the beach, we found a dead jellyfish... or so we thought. It was either a dead jellyfish, or someone's breast implant fell out. Gross! My goal is to look aboriginal by the end of this trip. Which shouldn’t be too hard, considering that I’m officially the bum of the apartment; the only one without a job. I have been applying to a lot of offices online, and so far the only response I’ve received is a rejection letter from a recruitment agency… A RECRUITMENT AGENCY! How is that possible? Isn’t the whole point of a recruitment agency to find people jobs that can’t do it themselves? As sad as if was to get that letter, I couldn’t help but laugh when I realized the hilarity in it all. If I don’t find anything soon, I might change my name on all my applications and resume. Maybe Connie McMann will have better luck? One can only hope.
Quote of the day: “He sounds stupid and poor.”- Corrie
After returning home to grub, I went down to the pier to watch the sunset. St. Kilda has a perfectly pink sunset every night. And it never gets old. I sat there for about an hour just admiring all the colors sparkling across the ocean, and then met up with my roommate at a pub across the street from our apartment. Naturally, the pub was filled with gay men, and my roommate was quite the heartbreaker. The pub turned into a huge dance party so we danced the night away and finally returned home after our marathon day. One of the men we met talked about how Americans always end their sentences with “right now.” I wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying, and everyone started laughing. My response was “I don’t even know what’s going on right now.” Everyone continued to laugh even harder, to which I exclaimed, “I’m so confused right now!” I proved his point.
Corrie has been working at the gelato shop everyday, so I have been spending a lot of time hanging out in the shop and eating free gelato. I’ve also been working on my tan. Today at the beach, we found a dead jellyfish... or so we thought. It was either a dead jellyfish, or someone's breast implant fell out. Gross! My goal is to look aboriginal by the end of this trip. Which shouldn’t be too hard, considering that I’m officially the bum of the apartment; the only one without a job. I have been applying to a lot of offices online, and so far the only response I’ve received is a rejection letter from a recruitment agency… A RECRUITMENT AGENCY! How is that possible? Isn’t the whole point of a recruitment agency to find people jobs that can’t do it themselves? As sad as if was to get that letter, I couldn’t help but laugh when I realized the hilarity in it all. If I don’t find anything soon, I might change my name on all my applications and resume. Maybe Connie McMann will have better luck? One can only hope.
Quote of the day: “He sounds stupid and poor.”- Corrie
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Ronerrryyyyy
Ever since Corrie started working and my job completely fell though, I've grown rather bored sitting in the apartment waiting for my boo to come home. So I thought, rather than continue spending my time watching bad American TV (that I secretly love), I'd write another blog. Let me discuss with you the latest Australian news. There have been two arrests in the disappearance of missing Australian billionaire, Herman Rockefellar. Did you guys know that AC/DC is Australian?! A surprising fact I discovered upon my entrance into this country. But I think the biggest news of them all, at the moment, is one I hold close to my heart. I feel as though my world has been turned upside down. Men At Works "Land Down Under" was apparently a rip off of a children's song- "Kookaburra Sits in the Old Gumtree." The audacity of some people! That song was my anthem. At least I still have Paul Simon's "You Can Call Me Al." If anything like this was to happen to that one, I don't know what I'd do.
And incase you were wondering what that bad American TV was that I watch, here is my daily list of shows:
Just Shoot Me
The Nanny
Pinky and the Brain
I Dream of Jeannie
Bewitched
Full House
The Flintstones
The Jetsons
Arthur
I've even watched The View a few times... That Whoopi is loca!
Quote of the day: "I don't need that unholy mess."- Corrie
I'd love to stay and chat, but I gotta cooch, schooch, n' boogie on down now!
And incase you were wondering what that bad American TV was that I watch, here is my daily list of shows:
Just Shoot Me
The Nanny
Pinky and the Brain
I Dream of Jeannie
Bewitched
Full House
The Flintstones
The Jetsons
Arthur
I've even watched The View a few times... That Whoopi is loca!
Quote of the day: "I don't need that unholy mess."- Corrie
I'd love to stay and chat, but I gotta cooch, schooch, n' boogie on down now!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Your Papa Ghandi Won't Work On Me!
Oy Oy Oy! Hello everyone. Well, Corrie and I have finally started working. Which is very exciting considering a cheap bottle of nail polish here costs 10 bucks and our toenails are stank. Now we will finally be able to buy a bottle! It will be nice to get a free meal after every shift. Then pick up some gelato on my walk home. Heyooo!
On Thursday night we went out on Acland Street, which is right by the restaurant I work at. Nothing interesting happened, except we did discover a delicious 24 hour bakery on our way home. This is not a good thing. But oh so good at the same time. On Friday night we went out on Chapel Street, where apparently the best nightlife is. We started out at the Lucky Coq Bar, where we watched all of “Shaun of the Dead” while lounging on the couches. Afterwards, we went to OneSixOne, where we met two weird girls who were oddly enthusiastic about us. We got a little weirded out by them and left. It was a late night. We got home around 6 am, because we realized public transportation stopped running at 1 so we were trying to make it till they started up again, but the girls just creeped us out a little too much so we hailed a cab and busted outta there!
On Saturday night we had another night in with the roommates. We drank wine, listened to hard rock, courtesy of Calle, and discovered that the former tenants of the apartment had so conveniently left “Upwords” (an Aussie version of Scrabble) “Guess Who?” and “Trivial Pursuit” in the entertainment center. Jackpot! I love all those games! Corrie and I played a few games of Guess Who? with the rule that you had to ask offensive questions. So instead of asking “Does your person have red hair?” we asked “Is your person a fire crotch?” Later in the night, our roommates took a cigarette break and Corrie and I took over the iPod. We spent the rest of the night playing old songs like “Sunny Came Home” by Shawn Colvin, and other such feel good tunes from the early 90s, otherwise known as the height of fashion. After a few minutes, we heard our roommates calling us outside so we ran to the window to see what was up. We went over and saw a guy who lives in our building serenading them with his guitar. We listened to him play a few songs before we requested “500 Miles” and partook in a staggering, late night sing-a-long. I can’t name one person in this world who doesn’t love that song. I would walk 500 miles, and ah-I would walk 500 more! Ladadada ladadada ladadada ladadada! Good stuff. I tried to make everyone stay up until 4 am with me so we could go look at the moon. I read on NatGeo that it was going to be the biggest full moon of the year, with a 4 am peak, and I was not about to miss that. By 3 am, everyone was exhausted so we went moon gazing then. Unfortunately, it looked just like any other full moon :( We also did a little dumpster diving that night and scored our third sofa and a table for our bedroom. Today, we got an ironing board cover. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure!
We spent yesterday roaming around Flinders station. In that area, there is a bunch of cool graffiti down hidden alleyways with charming little cafes. We also checked out the big Cathedral in that area. We were dripping sweat after a while so we came back to cool down for a bit until Corrie went off to work to bring home the bacon and I practiced domesticity and prepared dinner for the both of us.
We spent the day at the beach today and for the first time since being in Australia I submerged my entire body under water. It was spectacular. The water is so clear, but I still find myself with the constant fear of being stung by a jellyfish. At least I have Corrie by my side at all times to give me a golden shower incase such a horrendous thing ever happened. After gorging ourselves on some chips and gravy, we are just relaxing in the apartment before heading out for a night on the town. Look out, Flinders, we comin’ back!
Updates:
We have 4 pet cats. Well, not really pet cats, but there are 4 cats that live in our building who often spend time in our apartment. There’s Bean, Peanut, Taylor, and Chica, and they’re lovely. Except Bean… he’s unpredictable and it terrifies me. We’ve all been scratched. Here’s hoping I don’t get cat scratch fever. Well speak of the devil! Chica is here. Meow. Also, my job may have fallen through. Back to job hunting yet again…
Quote of the day: “I bet they have a very gentle touch… is that weird?”- Ilan, discussing ladyboys.
On Thursday night we went out on Acland Street, which is right by the restaurant I work at. Nothing interesting happened, except we did discover a delicious 24 hour bakery on our way home. This is not a good thing. But oh so good at the same time. On Friday night we went out on Chapel Street, where apparently the best nightlife is. We started out at the Lucky Coq Bar, where we watched all of “Shaun of the Dead” while lounging on the couches. Afterwards, we went to OneSixOne, where we met two weird girls who were oddly enthusiastic about us. We got a little weirded out by them and left. It was a late night. We got home around 6 am, because we realized public transportation stopped running at 1 so we were trying to make it till they started up again, but the girls just creeped us out a little too much so we hailed a cab and busted outta there!
On Saturday night we had another night in with the roommates. We drank wine, listened to hard rock, courtesy of Calle, and discovered that the former tenants of the apartment had so conveniently left “Upwords” (an Aussie version of Scrabble) “Guess Who?” and “Trivial Pursuit” in the entertainment center. Jackpot! I love all those games! Corrie and I played a few games of Guess Who? with the rule that you had to ask offensive questions. So instead of asking “Does your person have red hair?” we asked “Is your person a fire crotch?” Later in the night, our roommates took a cigarette break and Corrie and I took over the iPod. We spent the rest of the night playing old songs like “Sunny Came Home” by Shawn Colvin, and other such feel good tunes from the early 90s, otherwise known as the height of fashion. After a few minutes, we heard our roommates calling us outside so we ran to the window to see what was up. We went over and saw a guy who lives in our building serenading them with his guitar. We listened to him play a few songs before we requested “500 Miles” and partook in a staggering, late night sing-a-long. I can’t name one person in this world who doesn’t love that song. I would walk 500 miles, and ah-I would walk 500 more! Ladadada ladadada ladadada ladadada! Good stuff. I tried to make everyone stay up until 4 am with me so we could go look at the moon. I read on NatGeo that it was going to be the biggest full moon of the year, with a 4 am peak, and I was not about to miss that. By 3 am, everyone was exhausted so we went moon gazing then. Unfortunately, it looked just like any other full moon :( We also did a little dumpster diving that night and scored our third sofa and a table for our bedroom. Today, we got an ironing board cover. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure!
We spent yesterday roaming around Flinders station. In that area, there is a bunch of cool graffiti down hidden alleyways with charming little cafes. We also checked out the big Cathedral in that area. We were dripping sweat after a while so we came back to cool down for a bit until Corrie went off to work to bring home the bacon and I practiced domesticity and prepared dinner for the both of us.
We spent the day at the beach today and for the first time since being in Australia I submerged my entire body under water. It was spectacular. The water is so clear, but I still find myself with the constant fear of being stung by a jellyfish. At least I have Corrie by my side at all times to give me a golden shower incase such a horrendous thing ever happened. After gorging ourselves on some chips and gravy, we are just relaxing in the apartment before heading out for a night on the town. Look out, Flinders, we comin’ back!
Updates:
We have 4 pet cats. Well, not really pet cats, but there are 4 cats that live in our building who often spend time in our apartment. There’s Bean, Peanut, Taylor, and Chica, and they’re lovely. Except Bean… he’s unpredictable and it terrifies me. We’ve all been scratched. Here’s hoping I don’t get cat scratch fever. Well speak of the devil! Chica is here. Meow. Also, my job may have fallen through. Back to job hunting yet again…
Quote of the day: “I bet they have a very gentle touch… is that weird?”- Ilan, discussing ladyboys.
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