Your Fart Smells Quite Comteporary...

I’M BACK! Sorry it’s taken so long to post something, the internet is crazy expensive so I don’t go on much. But I’m alive and kickin’!

The past few days were quite eventful. We found an adorable little apartment in St. Kilda and moved in on Monday! It is by no means luxurious; in fact, you could probably categorize it under “piece of crap,” but the location more than makes up for it. It’s situated right across the street from the beach, and next to the main entertainment strip in Melbourne, where all the restaurants and pubs are. Here’s hoping we find jobs in one of them! Our roommates are a couple from Sweden, and, for an indefinite amount of time, an Australian guy living on the sofa of the living room. So it’s a pretty full house.

On Saturday, the former tenants of the apartment threw a going away party, so we decided to stop by. We met a lot of cool people from all over the place, including our first Americans! It’s surprising how few there are here. After a few hours, Corrie randomly returned to me completely out of breath, and informed me that she had just spent the last few minutes on the trampoline in the courtyard of our apartment. For some reason, this prompted us to leave, and we bid our new place adieu. But we made sure to stop at a delicious kebab shop on the way back to our hostel. We were spotted by a patron of the party sitting on a curb scarfing down kebabs and french fries, and let me tell you, were we happy!

On Sunday, we decided to be cultured folk, visiting the Australian Center for Contemporary Art and the National Gallery of Victoria. The ACCA was… weird. I’ve never really understood contemporary art. I just don’t get how a block of wood painted black is art. The ACCA basically just had enlarged copies of emails posted on walls about the torture practices of US Soldiers abroad. It was interesting, but come on, how is that art!? It was like we were reading the script for 20/20, not perusing through an art gallery. Am I just missing something? The NGV was much better. They had actual paintings, prints, photography, etc. Something I actually understand and enjoyed looking at. They did have a contemporary art section; we zoomed through it just to hate on it. Upon entering the contemporary art section, I randomly blurted out “Contemporary fart,” and we began to burst out laughing (because farts are hilarious). This caused the security guard to follow us around the rest of the time we were in there. She awkwardly asked Corrie what her tattoo was of, and after Corrie answered, she walked away without giving any type of reaction. An oddball she was. But enough about awkward guards, we decided we’re going to draw a few lines on a piece of paper and have it displayed at the gallery. If blue box can be art, then why can’t our magnificent drawing be?

Monday was the HOTTEST day I have ever experienced. And that says a lot, considering I’ve spent summers in India. Those Indian summers have nothing on the heat we experienced here. It went up to 43 degrees Celsius, with an overnight temperature of 39 degrees, the hottest it has been in Melbourne in over 100 years. We set a record! But Good Lord, it was unbearable. It was like we were walking around in someone’s mouth. Needless to say, I now know what Hell feels like. Remind me to stop talking trash about everyone I see from now on.

Last night we went out in St. Kilda and found a great little hole in the wall bar that had live reggae. The night, of course, ended with kebabs and french fries. If I come home looking like I did in Prague, it’s all Sunshine Kebab’s fault!

OH YEAH! And we saw the most hilarious scene last night. We were sitting outside at a bar, when a motorcycle gang rode up and stopped at the light in front of us. But something was off. This poor Domino’s delivery boy was caught amidst the group of bikers. As they revved their Harley’s, the Domino’s boy put his head down in shame as the bar patrons laughed at him. The light finally turned green, and as the bikers sped off, the Domino’s boy scooted away on his little moped. Hilarity at it’s finest.

Besides that, We’ve basically just been bums since we got here. We really should find a job soon, but unemployment is just so fun. I don’t care what other people say, I think it’s great. How can you not love complete and total freedom? Once I start looking, I’m planning on working the Indian charm and trying to get a job at an Indian restaurant. If that doesn’t work out I may just turn trick, we’ll see!

Updates:

My dad is here! He arrived this morning. So, naturally, we’ll be having dinner at the Hard Rock Café tonight. We also finally got our Big Day Out tickets! 11 days to go! And Corrie has a day date tomorrow… oh my!

Quote of the day: “It’s not easy being a Madam these days.”- Corrie, in response to the very rough looking cross dresser we passed on the street.

Quote of the day #2: “HE’S EATING FLESH!!!!!!!!!”-Dan, our roommate, in response to the opening credits of “Dexter,” which is our newest TV addiction. This quote won’t make sense if you don’t watch the show.