You Just got HelHarped!

Well, well, well... after 8 months away from home, 3 months of non-stop travel, an endless amount of bus rides (some life threatening), copious amounts of noodles, being ripped off by many, many Asians, and everything else that makes up the wonderful chaos that is traveling... the journey is finally coming to an end.

We spent 3 weeks traveling up the coast of Vietnam and falling in love with the country and people, explored the temple ruins of Angkor Wat in Cambodia, and relaxed on the beaches of Thailand. And now it's time to go back to liiife, back to reality.

Top 10 things I am looking forward to:
1. TURK
2. Taco Bell
3. Showering with no flip flops on
4. Having a big comfy bed to myself. And having a room to myself, for that matter.
5. A/C
6. Whiskey River BBQ burger from Red Robin
7. Milk shakes (although they will not compare to Fritz!) and kettle corn
8. Not being greasy and sweaty 24/7
9. Being able to walk down the street in peace
10. And of course, seeing my family and friends!

See you all after my 24 hour journey home! I'ma look goooooooood...

Final Quote of the Day: "She looked like a ghost. She did! She looked like she lacked soul."

Shameful Seamus

Hello everyone! Just a quick update on our travels. We are in Queenstown at the moment, after spending a few days in Christchurch, a charming European feeling town. On Wednesday we will be heading to Wellington for a few days and working our way up the North Island, and hopefully taking part in some adventure activities along the way! Too lazy to write more right now but that is what we're doing for now!

Quote of the Day: "Ew, the sushi at the mall looks gross. Let's go get some at the train station."-The Logic of Buck

You Know What?

The past week has definitely been the best week so far! Magnetic Island was three days of nature and relaxation. The only downside was that the bay our hostel was closest too looked like Ocean City. We were very confused as to how an island in the middle of the ocean off the coast of Australia could be anything but breathtakingly beautiful. But the fact that we got to hold a koala trumped everything. And the fact that the Koala's name was Dexter made it that much better.

After Magnetic Island we headed up to Cairns, a lovely little beach town that, oddly enough, doesn't actually have a beach. Delightful, nonetheless. But the real highlight of the trip so far has been the Great Barrier Reef. I even tried out scuba diving for a bit! Given, we didn't go down too far and we weren't under for very long since it was just an intro dive, but I still did it! And it was quite a triumph considering all the ridiculous fears I had before actually going under. (What if my goggles fog up and I swim head first into the boat and knock myself unconscious?) The snorkeling was amazing though. It was a little disappointing not seeing any sharks or turtles, but I saw hundreds of big, colorful fish, and a stingray and giant clam!

For now, I'm just floating around Cairns and taking in all the warmth and sunshine I can before heading into the middle of winter in New Zealand. Oy! I was thinking about doing a day trip to one of the beaches around here but apparently there are crocodiles in the water so you can't even go in. Oh, Australia... such an odd country you are.

Quote of the day: "What is that sound?"- Me
"I don't know. It sounds like a monkey. Or a bird. Or a monkeybird. Oh. My. God."- Ilan

Dutch Scissor Sisters

Fraser Island was... okay. It was one of the main things we had been looking forward to seeing, and had the weather cooperated, it would've been great. But it rained most of the time we were there, turning us into miserable, mean people. But, surprisingly, it also accounted for a lot of laughs, as well as the construction of the most awesome fort ever. We were lucky enough to at least have sunshine on our first day, when we saw the famous Lake McKenzie. I took a dip in the lake, which is said to make you one year younger each time you go in. So I am back to being 23, which means I have a whoooole nother year before I freak out about being in my mid-twenties and having no life path set yet!

After Fraser Island, we went to Airlie Beach, a delightful little beach town near the Whitsunday Islands. We did an ocean rafting trip to the Islands yesterday, and although we had some clouds, that didn't take away from the beauty. The big finale was Whitehaven Beach, National Geographic's most beautiful beach in the world for a few years now, and with good reason. The tide creates sand bars that weave in and out of the water across the whole beach, giving you an amazing view. Pictures to come. If I can figure out how to upload at an internet cafe. Oh yeah, I was also attacked by pigeons on Whitehaven Beach! We had out lunch there, and as I was bring my bread roll up to my mouth, a pigeon swoops down, pecked at my finger, causing me to scream and by the time I had opened my eyes again, my roll was on the sand and the birds were going to town on it. And everyone laughed :( I was also the only person on the raft to get soaked going to and from the islands. A girl just can't get a break...

We are now in Townsville, the Sears of urban development. It honestly feels like we have traveled back in time and I'm not sure I quite like it. So far we've just gone to Woolworth's to pick up some groceries and were followed down the aisles by a one eyed Aboriginal man. (no joke) Needless to say, we fled. Tomorrow we are heading to Magnetic Island where I am going to hold the crap out of some Koalas. And probably cry tears of joy while doing it.

Quote of the Day: "Look, Beaches Travel Agency! Oh no wait... it's Beaches Hostel. Hey, they have the same logan."-Ilan
2 minutes later...
"Did you just say 'Logan'?"- Me
"Yes."- Ilan

Mrs. Doubtfire

Hello everyone! I am currently in the midst of my travels up north and it has been lovely. After Sydney, which I was EXTREMELY excited to leave, we went to Byron Bay, a quintessential Aussie beach town that we fell in love with. We were originally supposed to stay for one night and ended up staying for three, spending our days lounging on the beaches and enjoying a Bulmers at night. We spent one evening hiking up to the lighthouse for some incredible views of the ocean and mountains. After a rather intense hike up, (ok not really, it's just been a while since I've engaged in physical activity) we weren't too keen on hiking all the way back down. So I decided to be a daredevil and hitch a ride down for us. (Don't freak out, Ma!) It was me, Ilan, and a girl named Natalie from our hostel. As soon as I stuck out my thumb, a crazy Italian hippie picked us up and gave us a ride into town, telling us about his upcoming trip to Seattle for a 10 day frisbee competition. It was a delightful three days in Byron.

After Byron we went to Surfer's Paradise for a night, where the only eventful thing that happened was Ilan puking his brains from his first goon experience. Haha.

We are now in Brisbane and leaving soon for Hervey Bay, where we will then FINALLY make it to Fraser Island! The one place I've wanted to see the most! Can't wait.

"I wish I had a black dad."-Ilan

Annoying Weirdos

I'm back, baby! I have no valid excuse for not updating le blog, just pure laziness. My last month in Melbourne went by far too fast. It's true what they say, it takes some time for you to fall in love with the city, but once you do, it gets under your skin and stays there forever, even when you work at a gelato shop where everyone is stupid and doesn't know how to function in society. We tried to squeeze in as much as possible during our last few weeks there, but I'd have to say the highlight of it all was the footy match we went to. Footy is Australian football, which is pretty much drunk American football, so it's 10 times rougher and 10 times more fun to watch. We supported the St. Kilda Saints, who surprised us and ended up scoring 18 points in the last 3 minutes of the game and unexpectedly winning! We picked the perfect match to attend.

I absolutely loved Melbourne and was sad to leave, but now I embark on a journey up the east coast of Australia for 3 weeks. I have been in Sydney since Sunday and can't wait to leave. I hate Sydney. It doesn't help that we are staying in the Underbelly and our hostel is full of annoying English folk. We've been rather antisocial and hung out on the glorious, smelly floor most of the time. Tonight we are taking an overnight bus to Byron Bay, followed by Brisbane, Fraser Island, the Whitsundays, Magnetic Island, Cairns, and the Great Barrier Reef. I am quite excited for all of this, but at the same time I'm terrified of sea life and am praying that I don't see any box jellyfish.

Quote of the day: "God, Tracy Chapman, how ambigious can you be?"- Buck

Not my chair, not my problem. No way.

Lazy Patch Duvet Suit.

http://www.lazypatch.com/

OMG.

Poor Owl

So the surf competition ended up being a total bust. We woke up at 7 am to catch the train to Geelong. After an hour long ride, we had to catch a bus to Bells Beach. We finally arrived at around 11:30 am... or so we thought. The bus dropped us off at the "Bells Beach" stop, but the actual beach ended up being about a 45 minute walk down a sidewalk-less road with cars zooming by the entire time. After coming dangerously close to being hit, we finally arrived at Bells Beach only to learn that the competition had been moved to another beach due to a lack of waves. Great. Where was this other beach, you ask? A 50 freakin dollar cab ride away. But, of course, it wasn't easy to get a cab. After calling the company, I was informed they need an actual address for pick up, and not just a beach. Faaaantastic. There were no buildings around. We trekked back until we came across a random house which I don't even know was real. But we used it anyway. And, of course, the cab took about 45 minutes to find us, due to the random location of the aforementioned house. While waiting for the cab, we decided to watch the kangaroos in the nearby field. While watching, we decided to pee since there were no bathrooms around. The looks the kangaroos were giving us while peeing... it's like they knew we were tainting their land. I was terrified I was going to get stuffed into a gooey roo sack. After finally getting in the cab, which we all thought was being driven by a man but ended up being a woman, (see below post: female mustaches) we arrived at 13th Beach. By this time the weather had turned fairly cold but we didn't care, we finally made it! We found a spot to relax on the beach while watching the competition, but half the time we didn't even know what was going on. There were so many random surfers in the water at the time, and the waves were so miniscule, that it really didn't seem like much of a competition. We were expecting music, drinks, food, etc. to all be provided on the beach, but due to the location change, there was nothing. After watching the pathetic competition for 2 hours, we decided it was time to make the trek back home. On the pamphlet we had read that there were free shuttle buses running back to the bus. But, as all other things went wrong, so did this. There were no shuttle buses running from 13th beach, only Bells. So we tried to catch a regular old bus. We were told they were running every hour. But, of course, they were not. I could've punched a baby out of frustration. Sooo we had to take another 50 dollar cab ride back to the train station, and we finally arrived back at 6:45 pm. Which gave me just enough time to shower and head into work... terrible. The only good part of the day was actually getting back to Melbourne. We all felt so overjoyed to be back, and for the first time I actually felt like I was back home, which was a nice feeling. The entire tram ride back to our apartment we just kept repeating "Oh my God I am so happy right now!!! I'm so happy to be back!!!!" Never again will I venture out into the countryside where everything goes wrong. Get it together, Australia. Surfing is your forte and this was the lamest thing ever. We did get to see Kyle Odom, and semi famous surfer from the States.

Besides that, I just finished book 4 of Harry Potter, I've been working everyday, and we are out of food.

Quote of the Day: "Dear Glamour, I have a crush on a fat guy, what's wrong with me?"- Nonsense at work

Crab Apples

There's a terrible epidemic spreading across Melbourne at the moment: Females with mustaches. I've seen more come into the shop than I'd care to have seen. And I intend to get to the bottom of this. I don't appreciate it one bit.

On a brighter note, I was convinced by my roommates to head out to Bell's Beach tomorrow to catch the Rip Curl Surf Pro. The extent of my surfing knowledge is pretty much whatever Kate Bosworth taught me during "Blue Crush." But I still think it will be pretty cool to actually see in person. Let's catch some tubes, brah!

Quote of the Day: "Why is there a butcher knife back here?"-Me, at work.
"For stabbing. You know, murdering and such."-Corrie

Enjoyment.

I enjoy this song. And video. And I hope you do, too. Cheers!

Rock Lobstah!

My job has made me really start to hate people in this world. 80% of the people that come in always ask some type of stupid question, whether it's what a flavor is even though they all clearly have labels, or if they can save themselves 2 dollars by getting a grande cup but putting them in two smalls. That may not make sense to you, but if we did that, we'd end up losing 2 dollars, so it's a stupid suggestion. I thought that working at a gelato shop would mean dealing with annoying kids, but it's the parents that are the bad ones. Get it together!

Corrie's sister was in town last week for her spring break. We decided to take her to the Joint on Tuesday night, and it ended up being one of the funniest nights we've had here. There weren't many people at the bar, but we kept ourselves entertained with an endless amount of hilarious conversation. My favorite, though, would have to be the one about Mariah Carey. We all agreed that Mariah Carey's "My All," was a goose bump worthy song. This, somehow, led to a dramatic rendition of "Itsy Bitsy Spider" sung to the tune of "I Still Believe," that did not stop all night. We sang it in the bar, we sang it on the tram, we sang it back at the apartment, and we sang it all the next day. In fact, I'm singing it in my head right now. Grammy worthy. We decided that we're going to be the next Weird Al, the lyrical genius he is. We'll call ourselves Weird Al Shank-A-Bitch.

I turned the big 2-4 last week, so to celebrate, we, of course, treated ourselves to some Mexican food; a tradition on my birthday. We went to Bluecorn restaurant on Barkley St, and I went to town on a giant burrito. It was so Taco Bell, but it got the job done. And since we aren't in the States, we didn't get a ridiculous portion so I didn't feel like my stomach was going to explode afterwards, much like I do at home. After dinner, we went out in an area called Fitzroy. We stayed there for a while, but, by no surprise, we ended up at the Joint. I angered Corrie by refusing to join in on singing "Blue (Da Be Dee)" for karaoke. I don't know why I didn't do it, because if ever there was a time to do karaoke, it was with "Blue," because you'd just sing like a robot the entire time, and that is fun to me. We ended our night there and, surprisingly, didn't get Hungry Jack's on our way home.

Last night, we went to Lygon Street, which is known for it's Italian restaurants. We ended up eating at the first restaurant we passed, after being hassled and pushed into it by the man who stands in front and who's sole purpose is to hassle and push people into eating at the restaurants. I guess he's doing his job right? We were lured with the promise of a free glass of wine each. The food was delicious, so we had no complaints about now exploring any further before we ate. That is, until we actually finished our dinner and walked further down the street, where every other restaurant offered a free whole bottle of wine PLUS free bread. The Horror! La Spaghetteria knew they could get customers with one free glass of wine because they were the first restaurant on the strip. We know better for next time...

Today I will spend my afternoon off cleaning our room, going to the bank, and mapping out a rough itinerary/budget for our upcoming travels.

Quote of the Day: "Never speak of that again..."- Corrie on the beach. She'd probably kill me if I wrote why she said that, so I'll have to leave it a mystery for all of you.

Sike!

Oh. Hello there. Let me tell you tales of my life. But I must warn you- they are not as exciting as you probably hope they will be. I worked every day this week. Including 10 hour shifts this weekend. I have the life of a doctor, constantly spending my days at work, and then on call incase the ice cream goes into renal failure, except instead of saving lives, I probably send these obese people to said doctors from all the gelato. Sike. Most of the people who come in are actually sticks and get giant tubs of ice cream- where does it all go!? (Those crafty asians are hiding secrets from the rest of us...)

Did you guys like the way I threw in the word "sike" up there? After years of being made fun of for using early 90s slang, I thought Australia, which is pretty much America 20 years ago, would accept my totally awesome lingo. But, last night, as we walked home from The Espy, I made a comment to Corrie followed by "sike!" A random guy walking past chuckled under his breath, but he wasn't quiet enough. Oh yeah, I heard him. I asked him if he was laughing because I said sike, to which he replied yes. I then proceeded to list the many reasons why "sike" is such a cool word, while Corrie told me to kick him in the face. I ended the conversation with a nice little zinger. I said "I'm not going to kick you in your face---SIKE!" and I kicked him in his face!!!! Jk, I didn't kick him, we ran away laughing and so did he. It was quite an enjoyable interaction.

We have finally gone to every single bar on Fitzroy Street in St. Kilda. We have 2 more bars to go to on Acland and then we will have gone to all the St. Kilda bars. We don't even like any of them, but we've set that goal for ourselves. Because one should always aim high, as my Nana always told me. Sike. She never told me that. I'm in a sike kinda mood.

St. Paddys day was loads of fun. We met up with some fellow Fritz workers in the city center, where we are going to attempt to goto an Irish pub. Unfortunately, I didn't get off of work till 11 pm, meaning we didn't get into the city until 12, and the bar we had originally planned to go to was closing at 1. All was not lost though, as we now had to valid excuse to go to our favorite bar that we always end up in, The Joint. Everyone was wearing green and we Irish jigged the night away. We hailed a cab home, but instead of taking us to Fitzroy Street, the cabbie took us over to Fitzroy, a totally different part of the city. After arguing with the cabbie for some time, his argument being "You said you tell me where to go!" (which we did) Corrie alerted me to get out of the cab and run. So I ran. And we hid. Then we got another cab and came home. But something tells me we may or may not have just gotten back into the same cab after hiding for a few minutes. Which would be a little awkward.

At the beach last week, Jenny and I were a hit when we found a starfish and picked it up out of the water. First, and awkward, fresh 21 year old (she told us it was her birthday) came over and was extremely excited. She then told us all about her birthday buffet, and how she was totally late for it because her friend who planned it died two weeks ago so she didn't get the details for it until last minute (I don't know why no one else told her about it?) I concluded that she had SAD. Social Awkwardness Disorder. After a another group of people came over to check out the starfish, we snuck away.

Corrie's sister is coming here tomorrow, so we will be doing more things this week than usual. Speaking of Corrie, I was just given word that she had dinner at Tandoori times tonight--my arch nemesis. I must go scold her now. I also have nothing else to talk about. Cheers.

Quote of the day: "The only difference between bums and backpackers is that backpackers can afford to stay in a hostel."- Urs

Hellato

Fritz has taken over my life. I work every day! This weekend, we all honestly almost lost our minds because there was a queue outside of the door 95% of the time we were there, which meant non stop scooping. My fingers look like sausages they are so swollen. At least we'll be getting nice, heft paychecks! The St. Kilda Busking Festival is going on right now too, which means that every Sunday, the street is lined with street performers. We had the pleasure of having this old man with a guitar and harmonica sit right outside our shop for 7 hours singing the most horrible tunes you can imagine. His voice was horrible, the songs were horrible, he even began to MC himself, which was horrible. (And that, ladies and gentleman, was a little diddy I like to call "twinkle twinkle little star"). We started to have a mini battle with him as we turned up our music in the shop, and he began to yell into his microphone and play louder. I could've killed him.

The amount of crazy customers we get does keep us entertained though. We had a man come in yesterday and just yell "CHOCOLATE!!!!!" to Corrie, and then told her to turn our music down. We have people come in who just point to the flavors they want and don't say a word. We've gotten some crazy eyed customers, as well. One group of adults came in and sampled about 30 flavors total before making a decision. I've never seen anyone so distressed about having to choose a gelato flavor. It was extremely annoying as it happened, but it made for some good laughs afterwards. People also grab for the used spoons on the counter when there is a label that says "USED SPOONS." Some come in a say "I'll have a chocolate indulgence, aaaand, and fritz gelato please." (All our flavor labels say fritz gelato on the bottom) And one man even came in and asked questions like "What is that yellow one there?" (The answer was Vanilla, which he could've clearly figured out had be read the giant label stating 'Very Vanilla'). Oh, we sure do get some crazies.

Despite our crazy work schedules, we found some time to go out this weekend. On Saturday, we went to Fangtasia! Jk, it's really called Fantasia, a little club tucked away between our two favorite kebab shops. We went in for about a half hour before heading up to the Tongue&Groove. We were only out for a total of an hour and a half but we honestly thought we had been out for about 4 hours by the time we left. But we had a jolly good time, and ended the night with... of course... some kebabs.

Quote of the Day:

"We did the mash! We did the PINEapple mash... PINEAPPLE MASH! It was a citrus SMASH!"- That's a little diddy Corrie and I like to call the Fritz Mash.

Stag Beetle--Love It.

Potato count for the day: 5 (baked).

Schwing Schwing!

So I started working this week, I have CRAZY hours, working a total of 45 hours scooping gelato. That's more hours than I've ever had with any other job. A full time gelato scooper! Can't wait to see the Popeye arm I have by the end of April. Ah-gah-gah-gah-gah! Corrie trained me on Monday, and let me tell you... scooping gelato is harder than it looks! I'm slowly getting the hang of it. Since it's now turning into Autumn here, it's not as scorchingly hot, so there haven't been many customers. We spent the day blasting music and eating the gelato ourselves. My favorite flavor, I'd have to say, is "Baci Kisses." It tastes like a Ferraro Roche in gelato form. The gelato shop is right across the street from our apartment, which makes for a very enjoyable commute to work. But I'll also be working a few days a week at the shop in Prahran Market, about 30 minutes from our apartment on the trams. I learned how to make donuts there, and soon I'll also be learning how to make coffee. So I'll be a jack of all trades!

On Saturday night, my roommates and I ventured out to the bars. We tried to go to The Espy, but there was a $30 cover to see some death metal band-- Nooo thanks! So we ended up going to The Vineyard; a bar that we have been wanting to go to for a while but always avoided due to the particularly douchey appearance of it's clientele. But it actually ended up being a great night and the people weren't so douchey after all. I guess it's true what they say, don't judge a book by it's cover! The bar has a really nice courtyard and there was a live band that night. I think we left shortly after we witnessed a German girl spill her drink all over Calle and then plummet into the ground. We ended our night with some Macker's. Can you believe we went over 2 months without ever going to the 24 hour Mcdonald's by our place? Go us!

Oh Monday night, we went bowling in the city centre. We played two games in which I scored a very respectable 45 in each. 45! 90 total! My final score with both games was less than everyone else's one game. I'd go 3 turns without knocking down one pin. Pathetic.

I watched "Twilight" the other night, as it was the only movie Calle and Corrie brought home when they went out to rent some. So, I was forced. Let me just say, I can not believe Stephanie Meyer is so famous for those books. The movie was so ridiculous, and I can't imagine that the books are any better.

Quote of the day: "Storks are real?"
"Yeah."
"No they aren't!"
"Yes they are!"
"Nuh-uh... Storks are like unicorns."

On The Fritz

I got a job... finally! Corrie and I are now travel buddies, roommates, AND coworkers. I'll be starting at Fritz Gelato on Monday! This weekend will be one long celebration, starting with a magical experience at the movie theater with "Alice in Wonderland" this afternoon :) Cheers!

Slampa Clause is Coming to Town.

Although I have YET to find a job, the past week has been crazy fun. The weather has been beautiful, besides a semi chilly weekend, which was actually a welcome change form the heat. We finally made it up to Fitzroy, a sort of Bohemian part of Melbourne with a bunch of cool cafes, bars, and vintage clothing stores, i.e. a WHOLE lotta hipsters. We just spent the day wandering around aimlessly and explored. Last Wednesday was also the last night for the Suzuki Night Market at the QV Market. So Corrie, Jenny, and I starved ourselves all day so that we could gorge ourselves on delicious international foods that night. I promised myself I'd avoid the Mexican food and try something new this week, but you know me. Taco Bell is my favorite restaurants, so I couldn't help but go to town on a delicious Burrito from Gringo Vibes, followed by a cupcake I had been looking forward to all week. After the market, we went to one of our favorite bars, the Carlton, in the CBD. We had a few pints and called it a night, but not before chowing down on some Hungry Jack's. God Bless the loose clothing trend that is going on right now.

Friday was one of the best days I've had so far. The weather was perfect, and Corrie and I spent the day at the beach. She had to go to work in the afternoon, but I stayed on the beach reading Harry Potter until sunset. It was... glorious. That night, Corrie and I went to the Espy after she got off from work. The Espy reminds me of the 9:30 Club, but instead of bands like Bloc Party and Vampire Weekend, it's unknown local Aussie bands that play, but it is nonetheless a great time.

Saturday nights have quickly become my favorite night of the week. It is the one night all of the roommates are home and no one really has anything to do the next morning (I never have anything to do any morning, but that's besides the point). We always just hang out in the apartment drinking goon, and although we really don't do anything, it always ends up being the most fun night out of the week. The highlight this past Saturday was our sing/dance along to Backstreet Boy's "Everybody."

Today, Jenny and I head into the city centre in search of the 2nd and 3rd Harry Potter books. I am officially obsessed, and not ashamed to admit it. We sold back some old books and ended up getting both of the Harry Potter's for 2 bucks. Score! We celebrated with some sushi burritos, and then shopped/I applied to a few more jobs.

So that was my week. I am now off to enjoy a few pints at the Prince of Wales. Cheers!

Quote of the Day: "YOU appeal to ME!"-Jenny's reaction to seeing a matured Shaun White, aka "The Flying Tomato" on TV.

Feeling Generous??

If you are, here are a few things I'd love to have sent to me.

Sunchips (original flavor)
Honey Bunches of Oats
Strawberry Pop Tarts
Chocolate Chip Cookies (Chewy if possible)
Kettle Corn
Skippy Super Chunk Peanut Butter


Quote of the day: "I don't even know where Baltimore is."-Corrie
"What? It's in MD!"-Me
"I know, but I don't know where in MD"
"What are you talking about? I took you there when you visited."
"Oh yeah, is that where Back Bay was?"
"The Baltimore Inner Harbor...?
"Oh yeah, that's it."

Silly girl.

My favorite Aussie commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgMl-iZ3tZM

The Great Parsnip Shortage of 2010

Corrie and I are now experienced Swedish chefs. Well, we can at least cook one traditional Swedish meal thanks to Calle, our roommate/chef. Last night we prepared dinner for everyone as he monitored us so that we wouldn't burn down the apartment. We cooked chicken for the carnivores, salmon for yours truly, roasted veggies and potatoes, with a delicious sauce to eat with everything. Following our bomb dinner, we made apple crumble for dessert. But it wasn't just any ol' apple crumble, we simmered the apples in goon! We had a romantic candlelit dinner and then watched "Adventureland." I am now thinking of maybe applying for a job as a Carny at Luna Park.

On Saturday night, I met up with Corrie and her coworkers at the beach when they were done scooping gelato for the night. It was a really warm night so there were a lot of people out. We ended up meeting a group of folks from all over the world; Argentina, Australia, Italy, etc. Upon hearing that there was an Italian present, I proceeded to declare my knowledge of Italian language. Upon proceeding to declare my "knowledge" of Italian language, the Italian began speaking to me in said language. Embarrassingly, I started speaking Spitalian, a mix of Spanish and Italian, and he realized I may or may not have lied. I swear, at one point in time I did speak really good Italian, but it's been years. Ma io parlo un po'! Ti ucciso!

So my interview at the Marriott went really well. Who knew that in person I was such a great interviewer? Anyway, it went extremely well, and they two people interviewing me loved me. But, of course, with my visa, they couldn't hire me because they needed someone more long term due to the amount of time it takes to train their employees. (3 months, my ass!) So, after the interview, which they conducted EVEN THOUGH they knew what visa I had beforehand, they told me it wouldn't work out, but continued to go on and on about how perfect I was for the job and I'm exactly what they were looking for. I had to sit politely with a smile on my face and nod along when I really wanted to punch them in the throat. How dare they waste my time like that! How I don't feel so bad for always stealing from them when I stay there. So, back to square one, and searching for a job once again. Woo to me!

Another funny job post:

"Drawf / Little person needed for party!

Do you know anyone?

It is for my sisters hen's party and I want a little person to play a gitted lover.
I respect the little people so there is no way this is to put them down or be of a derogatory nature.

Sat 20th Feb in docklands and will be needed for say 20min max paying $50. Happy for person to hang around for an hour or so if they wish for food and drinks! Also if they wanted to be accompanied by friend or partner ok too.

Cheers

Kylie"

If only I was 4 inches shorter...

Quote of the Day: "You're quite the creepy person, aren't you?"- Hugh Grant

Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs...

I really like the show "Frasier" now. I used to hate it. But being unemployed in Australia and having limited television to watch, I've grown to love it. I actually get excited when I see it's coming on. It's actually quite hilarious. Does this mean I'm growing up? I always thought it was a show for old people... That Frasier gets himself into some crazy shenanigans though!

Also, I came across this ad while job hunting online and thought I'd share it with everyone. How funny/awesome would this job be?

"We need someone who is good at connect 4, that game where you try to line up 4 circles in a row. You need to be really good at this game!!!
You will work 3 hours a night, and people in the bar will try and beat you! If they win, they get a free drink, and if you win then they have to buy someone a drink :)

So you need to be good otherwise we will end up giving away 1000 drinks :(

Don't bother with a resume, just let us know how good you are at connect 4.
If you arent that good, come down to The Saint on thursday night to play the person we selected!!!"

The Saint is just up the road from our apartment. I might go challenge this Connect 4 champion at some point...

Laser Skirmish

Well well well… Hello everyone. Let me fill you in on my life over the past week. The St. Kilda festival has ended. The last day was crazy crowded in St. Kilda, with carnival rides set up on the beach, live performances in the many gardens around the city, and food stands and other random activities all around the place. It was quite overwhelming. Since it was a dry zone, we spent most of the time in our apartment drinking Carlton’s and quizzing each other on the bottle top questions that come with the beer. We decided that gaining knowledge was more important than some ol’ festival.

On Friday night, we went to our friend’s birthday party in the city. Our friend from Sydney was also in town so we met up with him and his French friend, as well. At the end of the night, my and Corrie’s maternal instinct came crawling out when we incessantly asked the French man if he was sure knew how to get home and kept offering to walk him back. He must’ve wondered what the hell was going on that two small girls were asking a full grown man if he needed to be escorted back to his hostel safely. As if we could ward off criminals…

On Tuesday, we finally made it to the Melbourne Zoo to see the new baby elephant! Oh My God. I can die happy. I have never seen anything cuter in my life. It was her one-month birthday and we watched as she frolicked around her mama the whole time. She even slid down a hill at one point and I wanted to cry. Not because she slid down a hill, but because she looked so adorable doing it. I want to move to a country where I can have a pet elephant. And then I would breed it constantly so I could always have a baby elephant around.



In addition to the baby elephant, we saw wombats spooning in a log, a platypus lookin’ all crazy in his tank, koalas and kangaroos. Now, the kangaroos freaked us out. They weren’t in a cage, but rather, they had a path set up that you could walk through and the kangaroos were just roaming around freely within this path. I was just waiting for one to pounce on me and kill me. Luckily, it was a really hot day so they were all just laying around. But I could see the evil in their eyes…they were scheming. I know it.

On our way back from the zoo, we stopped in the city centre to get some burgers and Mrs. Field’s cookies. While waiting for our tram back, we were asked for directions by two people. And we actually knew the directions they asked for! We’re slowly becoming locals in Melbourne, and I am quite excited about that.

Last night we went to the Suzuki Night Market at the Queen Victoria Market. It happens every Wednesday in the summer; they have live music set up throughout the market, an insane amount of international food stands, and a flea market where you can buy many goods. I had dinner before we left, but I couldn’t help myself when I saw the Mexican food stands, and I went to town on some tacos. Deeelicious! It was worth the gut I woke up with the next morning. After the market, we decided to check out Crown Casino. We wandered around for a bit, but the real story is what happened at the end. As we were about to leave the casino, we saw… dun dun dun… Jermaine Jackson! Now I know Jermaine isn’t that exciting, but with Michael gone you just gotta settle for any of the Jackson’s at this point, right? I awkwardly stared and continuously loud-whispered to Corrie- “Oh my God that’s Jermaine Jackson. Oh my God that’s Jermaine Jackson! Oh my God that’s Jermaine Jackson!” I didn’t want to approach him but I was hoping he’d be excited that someone recognized him and he’d approach us. I think weird things… because why would one of the Jackson’s approach me? I seemed to be the only one who recognized him though. He’s just as creepy looking in person as he is on television.

Updates:
I have an interview at the Marriott for a front office position! Hopefully it will end in a job, but given my track record, interviews are usually the factor that ruins my chances of getting a job. I am just so awkward. Maybe they will find it endearing? I've also decided to give in... 10 years late... and start reading "Harry Potter."

Quote of the Day: “I’d get so fat from eating my fingers all day.”-Corrie

Repulsive and Offensive.

Are the words I would use to describe how Vegemite tastes. I don't know how they eat that crap down here...

You're Welcome, Earth!

The past few days have been a whole lotta fun. The St. Kilda Festival is going on, so there are heaps of people in town for the week. On Saturday night we stayed in with the roommates again, it has almost turned into a tradition. We had our first goon experience, a fun time, indeed. We taught each other offences Swedish and Hindi phrases. Dra at Helvete! On Sunday, there was a pride march that went right on by our apartment. So my roommate and I set up shop outside and gazed upon the colorful parade. The parade marched onto the beach, where there were stages set up for performances, bars, and restaurants. The entire time we were there, I couldn’t stop saying how much I wished every Sunday was like that in St. Kilda. There was such a great atmosphere and so much to see and do. We spent the day roaming around and admiring all the queens. We even made our Australian television debut! We were interviewed for a local television channel. We’re famous! Look out for us on channel 31.

After returning home to grub, I went down to the pier to watch the sunset. St. Kilda has a perfectly pink sunset every night. And it never gets old. I sat there for about an hour just admiring all the colors sparkling across the ocean, and then met up with my roommate at a pub across the street from our apartment. Naturally, the pub was filled with gay men, and my roommate was quite the heartbreaker. The pub turned into a huge dance party so we danced the night away and finally returned home after our marathon day. One of the men we met talked about how Americans always end their sentences with “right now.” I wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying, and everyone started laughing. My response was “I don’t even know what’s going on right now.” Everyone continued to laugh even harder, to which I exclaimed, “I’m so confused right now!” I proved his point.



Corrie has been working at the gelato shop everyday, so I have been spending a lot of time hanging out in the shop and eating free gelato. I’ve also been working on my tan. Today at the beach, we found a dead jellyfish... or so we thought. It was either a dead jellyfish, or someone's breast implant fell out. Gross! My goal is to look aboriginal by the end of this trip. Which shouldn’t be too hard, considering that I’m officially the bum of the apartment; the only one without a job. I have been applying to a lot of offices online, and so far the only response I’ve received is a rejection letter from a recruitment agency… A RECRUITMENT AGENCY! How is that possible? Isn’t the whole point of a recruitment agency to find people jobs that can’t do it themselves? As sad as if was to get that letter, I couldn’t help but laugh when I realized the hilarity in it all. If I don’t find anything soon, I might change my name on all my applications and resume. Maybe Connie McMann will have better luck? One can only hope.

Quote of the day: “He sounds stupid and poor.”- Corrie

Ronerrryyyyy

Ever since Corrie started working and my job completely fell though, I've grown rather bored sitting in the apartment waiting for my boo to come home. So I thought, rather than continue spending my time watching bad American TV (that I secretly love), I'd write another blog. Let me discuss with you the latest Australian news. There have been two arrests in the disappearance of missing Australian billionaire, Herman Rockefellar. Did you guys know that AC/DC is Australian?! A surprising fact I discovered upon my entrance into this country. But I think the biggest news of them all, at the moment, is one I hold close to my heart. I feel as though my world has been turned upside down. Men At Works "Land Down Under" was apparently a rip off of a children's song- "Kookaburra Sits in the Old Gumtree." The audacity of some people! That song was my anthem. At least I still have Paul Simon's "You Can Call Me Al." If anything like this was to happen to that one, I don't know what I'd do.

And incase you were wondering what that bad American TV was that I watch, here is my daily list of shows:

Just Shoot Me
The Nanny
Pinky and the Brain
I Dream of Jeannie
Bewitched
Full House
The Flintstones
The Jetsons
Arthur
I've even watched The View a few times... That Whoopi is loca!

Quote of the day: "I don't need that unholy mess."- Corrie

I'd love to stay and chat, but I gotta cooch, schooch, n' boogie on down now!

Your Papa Ghandi Won't Work On Me!

Oy Oy Oy! Hello everyone. Well, Corrie and I have finally started working. Which is very exciting considering a cheap bottle of nail polish here costs 10 bucks and our toenails are stank. Now we will finally be able to buy a bottle! It will be nice to get a free meal after every shift. Then pick up some gelato on my walk home. Heyooo!

On Thursday night we went out on Acland Street, which is right by the restaurant I work at. Nothing interesting happened, except we did discover a delicious 24 hour bakery on our way home. This is not a good thing. But oh so good at the same time. On Friday night we went out on Chapel Street, where apparently the best nightlife is. We started out at the Lucky Coq Bar, where we watched all of “Shaun of the Dead” while lounging on the couches. Afterwards, we went to OneSixOne, where we met two weird girls who were oddly enthusiastic about us. We got a little weirded out by them and left. It was a late night. We got home around 6 am, because we realized public transportation stopped running at 1 so we were trying to make it till they started up again, but the girls just creeped us out a little too much so we hailed a cab and busted outta there!

On Saturday night we had another night in with the roommates. We drank wine, listened to hard rock, courtesy of Calle, and discovered that the former tenants of the apartment had so conveniently left “Upwords” (an Aussie version of Scrabble) “Guess Who?” and “Trivial Pursuit” in the entertainment center. Jackpot! I love all those games! Corrie and I played a few games of Guess Who? with the rule that you had to ask offensive questions. So instead of asking “Does your person have red hair?” we asked “Is your person a fire crotch?” Later in the night, our roommates took a cigarette break and Corrie and I took over the iPod. We spent the rest of the night playing old songs like “Sunny Came Home” by Shawn Colvin, and other such feel good tunes from the early 90s, otherwise known as the height of fashion. After a few minutes, we heard our roommates calling us outside so we ran to the window to see what was up. We went over and saw a guy who lives in our building serenading them with his guitar. We listened to him play a few songs before we requested “500 Miles” and partook in a staggering, late night sing-a-long. I can’t name one person in this world who doesn’t love that song. I would walk 500 miles, and ah-I would walk 500 more! Ladadada ladadada ladadada ladadada! Good stuff. I tried to make everyone stay up until 4 am with me so we could go look at the moon. I read on NatGeo that it was going to be the biggest full moon of the year, with a 4 am peak, and I was not about to miss that. By 3 am, everyone was exhausted so we went moon gazing then. Unfortunately, it looked just like any other full moon :( We also did a little dumpster diving that night and scored our third sofa and a table for our bedroom. Today, we got an ironing board cover. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure!

We spent yesterday roaming around Flinders station. In that area, there is a bunch of cool graffiti down hidden alleyways with charming little cafes. We also checked out the big Cathedral in that area. We were dripping sweat after a while so we came back to cool down for a bit until Corrie went off to work to bring home the bacon and I practiced domesticity and prepared dinner for the both of us.

We spent the day at the beach today and for the first time since being in Australia I submerged my entire body under water. It was spectacular. The water is so clear, but I still find myself with the constant fear of being stung by a jellyfish. At least I have Corrie by my side at all times to give me a golden shower incase such a horrendous thing ever happened. After gorging ourselves on some chips and gravy, we are just relaxing in the apartment before heading out for a night on the town. Look out, Flinders, we comin’ back!

Updates:
We have 4 pet cats. Well, not really pet cats, but there are 4 cats that live in our building who often spend time in our apartment. There’s Bean, Peanut, Taylor, and Chica, and they’re lovely. Except Bean… he’s unpredictable and it terrifies me. We’ve all been scratched. Here’s hoping I don’t get cat scratch fever. Well speak of the devil! Chica is here. Meow. Also, my job may have fallen through. Back to job hunting yet again…

Quote of the day: “I bet they have a very gentle touch… is that weird?”- Ilan, discussing ladyboys.

Dangle Yr Dongle

I got me a job! You’re looking at (the writing of) Tandoori Times newest waitress. I knew my Indian charm would work on SOMEone. The downside to all this is that… I absolutely hate waitressing. And I’m bad at it. I am very neglectful of my tables and I’m not a fan of acting bubbly to customers. And I get easily overwhelmed. So we’ll see how it goes. Whatever puts money in mah wallet, right? Can I get an AMEN!? Corrie also got a job. Her job is more fun, she’ll be working at a gelato shop… So free Indian food and free gelato for us!

Last week we had a taco and beer night with our roommates in the apartment. It was the first time we really hung out with them and it ended up being a great night. We taught them the “Safety-Doorknob” game we used to play as kids. I hope you all remember it. It seemed like a good idea to play it at the time, but it went on all night, as you would imagine after eating tacos, and now we have bruises on our arms. Oy.



On Tuesday we went to a huge music festival here called Big Day Out. It was supposed to rain all day but it ended up being a hot, cloudless day. Which was good and bad at the same time. It was SO HOT, and there were so many people there. The first band we went to see was The Temper Trap. They’re an Australian band I started listening to a few months ago so I was really excited to see them, and they put on a really good show. But not as good as... dun dun dun… Passion Pit! I was surprised at how popular they are here. There was a huge crowd gathered around for their show way before it even started. We got pretty good spots, except it was so crowded and everyone was so sweaty, so it was a little gross. But once the band went on the whole crowd was really into it and jumping and singling along whole time, so it was a lot of fun. We were planning on seeing Girl Talk afterwards, but at that point all we could get our bodies to do was buy a bottle of water and sit in the shade. The closing band was Muse, who I’ve never been a big fan of, but I have to give them props on their live show. All in all it was a good day. A good, looong day. Oh yeah, and I now believe in karma. While waiting in line to buy drink tokens, I saw someone drop 50 dollars, and I returned it to them and they were ever so grateful. When I went to buy my drink tokens, the girl selling them to be accidentally gave me double what I had paid for. I’d like to think I was being rewarded for my good deed.



Updates:
We’ve now started watching “True Blood,” in addition to “Dexter.” These TV shows are taking over our lives. True Blood is the weirdest show I’ve ever seen, but of course, easy to get addicted to. We finally went out last night because we had run out of shows to watch. BUT, we should be getting season 3 of Dexter in the mail today courtesy of the Buck family. Thank you Mama and Papa Buck!

At this very moment, I am sitting in my bed and thinking about pancakes…mmm… I'll settle for fish fingers and potato gems instead.

Quote of the day: “Goon gives you the winds..."

"My bajingo's on fire!!!!"- Elliot Reed, May 2004

Heyooo!

Oh my, let me start this post out by saying Corrie and I should never be allowed into the Marriott executive lounge again. On Tuesday night, what was supposed to be a relaxed evening in the lounge followed by going out for a night on the town, turned into us drinking an obscene amount of screwdrivers and never making it out of the hotel. We met a group of people in there who we ended up hanging out with all night. And by all night, I mean until 10 pm, when it closed. But felt like 2 am. We ended up making friends with the girl working in the lounge and went out with her and another Marriott worker last night. I don't know why, but we only make friends with people who work at the places we go to! We ended up going bowling, where I rolled a gentleman's 50, and lost half of my thumbnail in the process. Ouch. Afterwards, we had Portugasms at Nando's, and headed over to the rooftop at the Carlton bar, where another girl who was staying at the Marriott met up with us. The weather was beautiful, so we just hung out on the rooftop most of the night and then headed downstairs in the bar to get our grooves on. Corrie and I decided to tell a guy our names were opposite, so when I told him my name was Corrie, he turned to Corrie (who he thought was Kanika), and in an attempt to spare my feelings, told her that in Cockney, my name meant Penis. Our little joke backfired on Corrie real bad. But these are the things we do to keep ourselves entertained. Aren't we exciting? We're now wandering around St. Kilda, and it is HOT. Days here are either crazy windy, or there is no breeze at all. Today, there is no breeze. In the wise words of Tito Puente (or whoever sings this song)... I'm feelin' hot hot hot.

Updates:
We have officially started job hunting. So far, we have given our CVs to a bakery. That is all. I'd say it's a pretty decent start, no? And Australian bowling shoes are awesome. I'm thinking of stealing a pair next time. And I've realized that I hate many things. Including sand in my mouth.

Quote of the Day: "That is one fancy ostrich..."

Weird Al Shank-A-Bitch

After 5 days of Papa Mannan time, we have been left to fend for ourselves. Well, not exactly, we get to live like kings at the Marriott for two more nights and take advantage of the executive lounge. Heyooo! Papa Mannan’s visit was great. He brought me peanut butter, AND Scrubs DVDs, the two things i love most in life, besides Turk. We saw “The Fantastic Mr. Fox” in the halfpipe theater, which was interesting. In the half pipe theater, which I now know is geared towards children; they have beanbags set up instead of chairs. Weird, yet wonderful at the same time. Papa Mannan and I did some graffiti hunting of our own, and on Sunday, all 3 of us did the Great Ocean Road drive.



The drive was about 4 hours there and 4 hours back, with multiple stops along the way. The road goes just along the coast of southern Australia all the way to Adelaide. We, of course, didn’t drive all the way to Adelaide, but we did make it to the 12 Apostles. The ride there was gloomy and rainy most of the time, but the sun finally came out and we had sunshine for the ride back. The water was so incredibly blue, I couldn’t get over it. Maybe I’m just used to the heinous, black water of Ocean City? Oh! And we saw Koalas!! Adorable. After a long day of driving, we were all craving some Mexican food. What we really wanted was Taco Bell, but what we settled for was “Taco Bill.” It sufficed. I went to town on some quesadillas and rice.



On Monday, we just wandered through the city center for a bit before going to St. Kilda so I could show Papa Mannan our apartment and the beach. It ended up being pretty chilly that day. Mother Nature cannot make up her mind in this city. One minute it’s 90 degrees and sunny, the next it is 60 degrees and grey. When we got to St Kilda, it was crazy windy. So we just spent a few minutes down at the beach to watch the sunset and then got some Thai food. Mmm mmm mmm.



We had a nice little routine with my dad here. Wake up, eat breakfast, work out, shower, wander around the city, come back and nap, sit in the conference room at the executive lounge and discuss anything from our business endeavors (slogans and radio shows), to the most hilarious episodes of “Seinfeld,” (the Merv Griffin/sidling the sidler episode wins) while taking advantage of the free drinks they put out, and then go out to dinner. Twas a nice long weekend with mah pops.

We are now going to start the job hunt FOR REAL. We have plenty of copies of our resumes printed out and no excuses to put it off any longer. Here goes nothin’!

Updates:
I finally admitted to my dad that it was indeed, I, who broke the microwave at work. And we have 1 week until BDO! Must find fun outfits…

Quote of the day: “I think he’s wearing Lederhosen.”-Corrie, in response to the odd length shorts we saw a passerby in.

Graffiti Hunting.

Your Fart Smells Quite Comteporary...

I’M BACK! Sorry it’s taken so long to post something, the internet is crazy expensive so I don’t go on much. But I’m alive and kickin’!

The past few days were quite eventful. We found an adorable little apartment in St. Kilda and moved in on Monday! It is by no means luxurious; in fact, you could probably categorize it under “piece of crap,” but the location more than makes up for it. It’s situated right across the street from the beach, and next to the main entertainment strip in Melbourne, where all the restaurants and pubs are. Here’s hoping we find jobs in one of them! Our roommates are a couple from Sweden, and, for an indefinite amount of time, an Australian guy living on the sofa of the living room. So it’s a pretty full house.

On Saturday, the former tenants of the apartment threw a going away party, so we decided to stop by. We met a lot of cool people from all over the place, including our first Americans! It’s surprising how few there are here. After a few hours, Corrie randomly returned to me completely out of breath, and informed me that she had just spent the last few minutes on the trampoline in the courtyard of our apartment. For some reason, this prompted us to leave, and we bid our new place adieu. But we made sure to stop at a delicious kebab shop on the way back to our hostel. We were spotted by a patron of the party sitting on a curb scarfing down kebabs and french fries, and let me tell you, were we happy!

On Sunday, we decided to be cultured folk, visiting the Australian Center for Contemporary Art and the National Gallery of Victoria. The ACCA was… weird. I’ve never really understood contemporary art. I just don’t get how a block of wood painted black is art. The ACCA basically just had enlarged copies of emails posted on walls about the torture practices of US Soldiers abroad. It was interesting, but come on, how is that art!? It was like we were reading the script for 20/20, not perusing through an art gallery. Am I just missing something? The NGV was much better. They had actual paintings, prints, photography, etc. Something I actually understand and enjoyed looking at. They did have a contemporary art section; we zoomed through it just to hate on it. Upon entering the contemporary art section, I randomly blurted out “Contemporary fart,” and we began to burst out laughing (because farts are hilarious). This caused the security guard to follow us around the rest of the time we were in there. She awkwardly asked Corrie what her tattoo was of, and after Corrie answered, she walked away without giving any type of reaction. An oddball she was. But enough about awkward guards, we decided we’re going to draw a few lines on a piece of paper and have it displayed at the gallery. If blue box can be art, then why can’t our magnificent drawing be?

Monday was the HOTTEST day I have ever experienced. And that says a lot, considering I’ve spent summers in India. Those Indian summers have nothing on the heat we experienced here. It went up to 43 degrees Celsius, with an overnight temperature of 39 degrees, the hottest it has been in Melbourne in over 100 years. We set a record! But Good Lord, it was unbearable. It was like we were walking around in someone’s mouth. Needless to say, I now know what Hell feels like. Remind me to stop talking trash about everyone I see from now on.

Last night we went out in St. Kilda and found a great little hole in the wall bar that had live reggae. The night, of course, ended with kebabs and french fries. If I come home looking like I did in Prague, it’s all Sunshine Kebab’s fault!

OH YEAH! And we saw the most hilarious scene last night. We were sitting outside at a bar, when a motorcycle gang rode up and stopped at the light in front of us. But something was off. This poor Domino’s delivery boy was caught amidst the group of bikers. As they revved their Harley’s, the Domino’s boy put his head down in shame as the bar patrons laughed at him. The light finally turned green, and as the bikers sped off, the Domino’s boy scooted away on his little moped. Hilarity at it’s finest.

Besides that, We’ve basically just been bums since we got here. We really should find a job soon, but unemployment is just so fun. I don’t care what other people say, I think it’s great. How can you not love complete and total freedom? Once I start looking, I’m planning on working the Indian charm and trying to get a job at an Indian restaurant. If that doesn’t work out I may just turn trick, we’ll see!

Updates:

My dad is here! He arrived this morning. So, naturally, we’ll be having dinner at the Hard Rock Café tonight. We also finally got our Big Day Out tickets! 11 days to go! And Corrie has a day date tomorrow… oh my!

Quote of the day: “It’s not easy being a Madam these days.”- Corrie, in response to the very rough looking cross dresser we passed on the street.

Quote of the day #2: “HE’S EATING FLESH!!!!!!!!!”-Dan, our roommate, in response to the opening credits of “Dexter,” which is our newest TV addiction. This quote won’t make sense if you don’t watch the show.

Snapshots of my life...

Storm swallowing Sydney. View from the Botanical Gardens.

      Chinese Gardens.

Blue Mountains.

Bondi Beach.

                  Hyde Park.

Who is this man???

We noticed a group of young Asian men snapping pictures with this guy (the one between me and Corrie), so I figured it was safe to assume he was some type of celebrity and now actually with the Asian boys. When I asked who he was, his manager was quick to assure him that I, indeed, knew who he was and was just pretending like I didn't. But I honestly have no idea who he is. And he wouldn't tell me! Apparently some boxer. Enlighten me, friends. 

Bad Boy 24/7

We made it to Melbourne! After a 12 hour overnight train ride and many obscure dreams, we have arrived. Incase you're wondering about my obscure dreams, let me share a little taste with you. The first consisted of Corrie and I renting a car and being ridiculously happy when we drove on the correct side of the road. The second took place at Corrie's house, where her cat was eyeing a mouse that had snuck in. The cat burrowed itself in the rug and got stuck, the mouse ran. The mouse came back, and vommed everywhere. The end. The third dream involved me taking out my computer only to find it was NOT my computer. I discovered this when everything was written in French except for a note that said "Creepy Santa's Back." I can only assume that it was the aforementioned creepy santa who stole my computer and replaced it with the mysterious French one. And that was my train experience in Australia.

We now have to start the job/apartment search. We've decided that Corrie is going to be a milkman, and I am going to be a seamstress. Once we have established our careers in our respective fields, we are going to start our own sitcom called "The Milkman and the Seamstress." I'll let you know how it goes. See you on the silver screen!

Updates:
My dad is coming next week! You know what that means... we get to eat like real people for 5 whole days!

Quote of the day: "Maybe there are birds in his suitcase..."-Aviran, our Israeli friend.

Robert Ri'chard

was on our flight to Sydney.

You Want Shome Wheat Crackersshhh??

Hello everyone! It's a meeee..Kaaaanika. After about 2 hours of trying to figure out what to do after we checked out of our hostel on Sunday, we checked right back in and decided to stay in Sydney, which I'm very glad we did. Luckily, we got a new room, away from our frienemies. Sure enough though, there was an elderly gentleman sleeping in the bed above Corrie. Really now, at some point you've got to realize you're too old for YOUTH Hostels. Am i right, or am i right??? He spends his nights watching "The Devil's Advocate" on his laptop without headphones on, so the whole room can listen, as well. Anyway, since we stayed in Sydney, we got to see some places that we thought we'd just skip but were definitely worth sticking around for. On Sunday, we were complete bums and hung out around the hostel watching "How I Met Your Mother" DVDs. On Monday, we finally made it to Bondi Beach. Monday was also one of those days where you realize how small a world we live in. As we were sitting at the bus stop to head back to the city center, Corrie got a call from her old neighbor, who happened to live about a block away from the stop we were waiting at. What are the odds! So we met up with her and her boyfriend for a few drinks at a bar that had an AMAZING view of Bondi Beach. The day starting out pretty gloomy and overcast, but luckily enough, the sun came out as we met up and the day went from being deary to perfect. After a few Boag's, we were told we should do a walk along the cliffs to Bronte Beach. Oh Em Gee. It was a beautiful walk. After walking for about 40 minutes, we decided to lay out on Bronte Beach for a bit and catch some rayzzz. Pictures to come.

Yesterday we spend the day hiking in the Blue Mountains a few hours outside of the city. The Blue Mountains Park was beautiful, not breathtaking, but definitely worth seeing. And it was nice to get in some hiking after eating Mcdonald's, Hungry Jack's, and potato wedges pretty much everyday. I could feel my arteries clearing out with each step I took. We decided to do a tour since we only had one day. Normally, I HATE organized tours, but this time it was ok, because our guide looked like Nigel Lithgow and took us to the hot spots of the Blue Mountains, and we would've probably gotten ourselves lost for days if we went on our own, much like the English bloke who was lost for 12 days without food and water earlier this year. I just don't know if I would've been able to bring myself to eat Corrie if it came down to that. And after 8 hours of peaceful wandering through the Australian rainforest, we took the 52 degree scenic railway (that you can find in the Guiness book of worls records) up the mountains and returned back to city life. All in all, it was a day well spent. PS- it was a really, REALLY bad day to forget to put on deoderant, oops! My apologies to the other travelers.

Last night we decided to go out since we hadn't in a few days. We went to New Town, where we heard they had cheap food and drinks. We treated ourselves to some bomb pad thai and continues on to Zanzibar. Oh Zanzibar... I felt like a creepy old lady there. I'm pretty sure everyone was about 17 years old, so after one beer, we decided to head back to the nursing home for some warm milk... or so we thought. We ended up stopping by a bar to use their bathrooms and grab a Bulmer's, but ended up making friends with all the workers and staying till the wee hours of the morning. Good times. Frankie is our homeboy.

It's our last day in Sydney until we take an overnight train to Melbourne. I have no idea why we decided on taking an overnight train when flights are cheaper and about 11 hours shorter. Oh well, perhaps we'll meet some characters who will make it all worth it? One can only hope.

Until next time, cheers!

Updates:

I've decided that I'm going to start wearing a fedora, so I can be Douchebag Chic. Fedora the Explora! Corrie and I are going to become street performers in Melbourne, making our money by chanting like the Albino girl from "Not Another Teen Movie." And last, but not least, Corrie and I have also decided that we are a hilarious comedy duo... a traveling circus, if you will. And everyone we meet becomes a brief part of our act.

Quote of the day- "Last year I did not laugh for a whole week. It was horrible...I'm never going back to Germany."- Street performer

Funky Monkey!

Hello mates! And yes, I’m going to be a total douche and start using the words “mates” and “cheers.” (wait for it at the end) Since my last post, we have done quite a bit, yet probably not anything you would find interesting. We spent our first night out at Scruffy Murphy’s, a bar just down the street from our hostel. We went with two folks from our room, one of which we lost early in the night, and the other who we knighted as our third musketeer. The night ended with various jumping pictures being taken on our walk back to the hostel. New Year’s Eve started out at Subway, where I found a piece of hair in the cheese in my sandwich, and vowed to never get subway in Australia again. Following that horrific experience, I spent the rest of the day/night pub hopping by the Harbour with my fellow musketeers. It was pretty much just a giant street party with revelers from all walks of life; white, Asian, fat, skinny, ginger midgets, etc. We stuck around an area near the bridge so as to not miss the fireworks show that everybody raves about. The bars played an array of music you would find on “NOW: That’s what I call music, volume 698.” But it was good, cheesy fun. By midnight, we could barely keep our eyes open but the fireworks definitely woke us up. Afterwards, we managed to muster up enough energy to go to the Pavilion Hotel for some dancing. I was shocked to see that it wasn’t actually a strip club as I had previously imagined it to be due to it’s creepy exterior.

I’m almost certain we walked a total of 18 miles on New Year’s Day. We had originally planned to go see the Royal Botanical Gardens that day, but instead, we stumbled upon a massive dance party known as field day. We found out tickets were over 100 bucks so didn’t even try to go. Needless to say, we did not see the gardens. Instead, we visited the Chinese Gardens, which really were the epitome of tranquility. We ended the night at  Scruffy Murphy’s again, but the highlight was after we left when we met Rick. Rick was working as a security guard at a nudie party. Yes, a nudie party. We were walking home, minding our own business, when we noticed a crowd of men and women in their undies. Upon noticing the scantily clad crowd, we started chanting “NUDIE PARTY! NUDIE PARTY!” and somehow befriended the security guard, who seemed to not find us as hilarious as we find ourselves. How dare he!

We were able to see the Royal Botanical Gardens and Mrs. Maquerie’s Point today. It was lovely until we got caught in a brief torrential downpour that swallowed the city. I treated myself to some Palak Paneer and Naan for dinner, and we went and saw “Sherlock Holmes” at the cinema. (I recommend seeing that movie, btw) We’re now back in the hostel, and relieved our frienemies are gone for the night. “Frienemies?” you say? Oh yes, we have obtained an entire group of frienemies. They are our English roommates and we find them highly undesirable as human beings. English fools!

We check out tomorrow and have to figure out what to do for the next 4 days before we head down to Melbourne. I  shall keep you posted.

-Update: 

There is now a second elderly gentleman in our room, and I mean ELDERLY. He is an old Asian man who I believe has lost his way home and decided to set up shop here until his family comes and finds him. His luggage is a giant bin, the kind used to keep kegs cold at home.

-Quote of the day: “Ugh, this guy is farting… he farted and he shimmied!”—Corrie Buck at the bar.

Cheers, Mates!